London Host City to 2012 Olympics Assembly
Ever found yourself lost in London? Ever tried getting 'a word in edgeways' with a London taxi driver? In the case of our poor athlete – answer yes to both! Arguably any athlete's worst nightmare – but looking on the plus side, he does get to see some of London's great sights – Buckingham Palace, Houses of Parliament, Westminster Abbey, St. Paul's Cathedral .. But with Charlie's enthusiasm for showing our beleaguered athlete round, will he make it to this year's Olympics? And who, indeed, is this unfortunate athlete? Fraid you have to wait to the end of the script to find out!!
Duration – approximately 10 – 15 minutes (easily 'expandable')
Cast size: 30 but easily adapted to different class size.
Music 1 Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner – Hubert Gregg
(Whole cast files in singing song)
Narrator: Good morning! And welcome to our assembly on …..
Whole cast: (Cheering) LONDON!
Narrator: Ah yes indeed! Great Britain’s capital city – what an amazing place!
Whole cast: And what amazing people!
Narrator: (Irritably) Yes, yes! We’ll come to you lot in a minute. But before we ..
(Enter Athlete, previously hidden offstage; sprints past, waving arms around in distress)
Narrator: (To athlete) Hey! Wait a minute! Who said you could come charging onto my stage?
Athlete: (Wheezing and panting) Oh my goodness! Oh no! This can’t be happening to me!
Narrator: Get a grip, man! What is the matter with you?
Athlete: (Spluttering) The Olympic Games! Where are they? Please someone tell me!
Narrator: Ah! So you’re not here for our assembly?
Athlete: Assembly? What assembly? The only kind of assembly I want to be in at the moment is at the Olympic Village, along with all the other athletes!
Narrator: (Indignantly) Well, I hope they have better manners than you! There are people here today (pointing at audience) who are only too happy to be sitting watching this assembly!
Athlete: Oh, I do apologise. I didn’t mean to be rude but you see …. I’m lost!
Athlete: Yes. You see, I’m not from this country – I’ve just flown into Heathrow – and I have somehow managed to lose my directions to the Olympic Village, where I am staying.
Narrator: Ah now I understand! London is indeed a big city – easy enough to get lost in!
Athlete: You can say that again!
Narrator: (Repeating) London is indeed a
Athlete: Yes, yes, I know that! But please, can you help me?
(Enter Taxi Driver, Charlie, in black cab)
Narrator: Well, look! Help may have just arrived! Meet Charlie!
(Charlie takes Athlete’s hand and shakes it vigorously)
Charlie: Watcha mate! How’s it going?
Athlete: Very well – if I was going to the Olympic Village!
Charlie: Ah! You don’t want to be in too much of a hurry, mate! Haven’t you heard?
(Turns to Cast)
Whole Cast: London is amazing!
Athlete: Yes, I believe it is but
Charlie: (Interrupting) Ah but that’s no good! You’ve got to actually see it – with your very own eyes!
Athlete: (Impatiently) Yes, yes. Another time perhaps
Charlie: Nah! There’s no time like the present, mate! Here, come with me. Jump aboard and I’ll take you on a ride you’ll never forget!
Athlete: Well, as long as you’re heading in the right direction- that is, towards the Olympic Village?
Charlie: Sure am! ‘Course, we might do just a little sightseeing along the way.
Athlete: Oh very well, as long as I end up at the Olympic Village – sometime today?
Charlie: No probs!
(Athlete ‘gets into cab’, next to Charlie, who starts the engine, turns the wheel, and ‘drives’ – see production notes for these ‘manoeuvres’)
Narrator: (Waving) Bon Voyage! I just know Charlie will give you the very best commentary on London – with a little help from us!
Charlie: (To Athlete) So, what do you know about London?
Charlie: (Interrupting) As I thought! Well, let me fill you in!
Athlete: Do I have a choice?
Charlie: Not if you want to make this year’s Olympics! Now, take this building on the left
(Two Foot Guards standing to attention)
Athlete: Ah, the one with all those funny looking guys in beaver hats?
(Charlie slams on breaks, and turns round abruptly to face Athlete)
Charlie: (Exploding) Beaver hats? Funny looking guys? I’ll have you know you are looking at the Queen’s very own Foot Guards. And if she ever heard you referring to them in that way …. A little respect, please!
(Charlie starts driving again; two Foot Guards sit down)
Charlie: (Interrupting impatiently) But nothing. They happen to be wearing bearskins on their heads. And I’d like to see you surviving those in the middle of summer!
Athlete: And the building?
Charlie: Oh, just the queen’s home!