Midsummer Nightmare III alias Midsummer Night’s Dream


Midsummer Nightmare III alias Midsummer Night’s Dream


Midsummer Nightmare III alias Midsummer Night’s Dream

A Midsummer Night’s Dream – make that …. nightmare! This alternative version of Midsummer Night’s Dream runs at approximately 50 minutes, has a cast of 25, and a ‘wicked’ choice of music! This is the third in a series of scripts written by playwright Sue Russell – the first was for a small summer camp group (of 10), the second for an expanded cast (of 17), and this third for a cast of 25. Suitable for children and adults alike – let’s hope your director has an easier time of it than mine (alias long-suffering teacher!)

Other Shakespeare scripts

Theseus:              Are you referring to our night’s entertainment, my dear?

Hippolyta:           If you can call it that! From what I’ve heard ..

Theseus:              (Interrupting) Ah, never judge a book by its cover!

Teacher:              (Raising his copy of Midsummer Night’s Dream, above the covers) Indeed. You can say that again! Still, nothing‘s going to spoil anything tonight.  Just as long as I stay awake to the end!

(Bottom, bouncing onto the stage)

Bottom:               And we’ll sure make sure that there’s no falling asleep during our amazing performance!

(Joined by Quince, Flute, Snout, Starveling and Snug)

Bottom:               Or should I say, my amazing performance!

Quince:                Now, now, Bottom! Remember what I said to you about team spirit!

Bottom:               (Tutting) Makes it sound more like a game of soccer! I prefer to think of myself as following in the footsteps of Brad Pitt, rather than David Beckham!

Lysander:            (Laughing) I’m sure either gentleman would be equally honoured – to know who was following him!

Demetrius:         Of course! (Pointing at Bottom) What a fine figure of a man!

Hermia:                (Crossing her brow with her hand) I grow weak, just looking at him!

Helena:                (Pretending to faint) Such a man! Such a vision of ….

Theseus:              (Impatiently) Yes, yes. Could we leave the amateur dramatics to these 6 players, please?

Hippolyta:           (Groaning) Something tells me, this is going to be one long night!

Teacher:              (Coughing) Er, I hate to interrupt. But could we get a move on, please? Some of us have a real play to rehearse for in the morning!

Quince:                I trust, kind sir, you’re not suggesting this is anything but the real thing? We have put many hours into producing what you are about to see!

Theseus:              So, may we see it, please?

Quince:                Of course, my lord! Players! At the ready!

(Picks up a trumpet and blows it loudly, startling everyone)

(Players, who’ve been quietly dozing off in the corner, all jump to attention)

Quince:                Meet the ill-fated couple, Pyramus

(Bottom steps forward, bracing muscles)

And the lovely Thisby

(Flute ‘minces’ towards Bottom;  both look extremely uncomfortable with their ‘situation’)

Theseus:              (Aside) What an attractive couple!

Quince:                (Coughing) Please!

Theseus:              (Repentantly) My apologies!

Quince:                (Graciously) Accepted!

Whose only way of communicating with each other is

(Snout steps forward, holding a piece of painted cardboard with a hole in it)

Snout:                   Through me!

(Everyone looks puzzled)

Snout:                   (Looking at Quince) I think you may need to blow that trumpet again! This lot are either half asleep …. Or not very bright!

Hippolyta:           (Indignantly) Pardon!

Snout:                   Oops! Beggin’ your pardon, miss  –  I mean Mrs ..er  Duchess – I mean .. oh dear, what do I mean?

Quince:                Silence, man! This was the very reason I gave you a non-speaking part!

Snout:                   (Stuttering) But, but …

Quince:                Exactly! Just not up to the task!

Bottom:               I told you, you should have given me all the parts!

Lysander:            (Aside) And I bet he would have taken them! What entertainment that would have been!

Theseus:              (To Snout) So, very simply

Demetrius:         (Aside) That shouldn’t be difficult!

Theseus:              What part are you playing, my man!

Snout:                   Ooh. Not a man at all, m’ lordship! A wall!

Everyone:           Ah!

Hermia:                Now we see!

Starveling:           Ah, but you don’t! Not without the help of yours truly!

Helena:                And you are?

Starveling:           (Holding up a lantern) Why, Moonshine of course!

Everyone:           Of course!

(Loud roars from Snug – Helen and Hermia both scream, mockingly)

Snug:                     And not forgetting me, of course!

Everyone:           Of course not!

Lysander:            A courser lot you’d have difficulty meeting anywhere!

Snug:                     But don’t be afraid, ladies! I’m not really a lion!

Helen and Hermia:          (Together, sarcastically) Really?!

(Snug roars again, and then has a coughing fit)

Snug:                     (Recovering) Oh, I know I’m convincing! But I’m really quite harmles, when you get to know me!

Hippolyta:           (Sarcastically) Well, that’s a relief!

Theseus:              So, to continue ….


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