The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Not exactly a laugh a minute, this one. But we do manage to salvage a happier ending for this particular script.
Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down)
Duration around 35 minutes not including the music suggestions
Despite it melancholy tone, there are some lighter moments .. if you look carefully enough!
Music 10 Thriller Michael Jackson
(Crew performing macabre routine – transforming into ghouls)
Narrator: Hey! Wait a minute. (Holding up script) According to this there were only 2 ghouls on that ship!
(Enter two ghouls, Spectre-Woman and her skeletal Death-mate)
Spectre-Woman: (Hissing, angrily) That would be me
Death-mater: And me!
Spectre-Woman: Who are these wretched phonies?
Narrator: I do apologise! They just got a little carried away!
Death-mate: I’ll say! Worst set of impersonators I’ve seen since, since
Spectre-Woman: That shockingly bad karaoke we went to last time we were in town!
Death-mate: Ugh! Worst night of my life. To end up there on a Saturday night!
Spectre-Woman: Yes, a fate worse than death! Well, we should know!
Narrator: (To Readers) Indeed. May we have a description of this lady, please?
Reader 3: Her lips were red, her looks were free,
Reader 4: Her locks were yellow as gold:
Reader 5: Her skin was as white as leprosy,
Reader 6: The Night-mare LIFE-IN-DEATH was she,
Spectre-Woman: (Snatching line from Reader 7) Who thicks man’s blood with cold.
Reader 7: Hey! That’s my line!
Spectre-Woman: (To Reader 7, menacingly) Want to take me on, little reader? You are a reader, I gather. Not a reaper! In the case of the latter I’d be more than happy for you to join our little team!
Reader 7: (Squirming in fright) Oh no! That’s quite all right!
Death-mate: (Spitting) Pathetic, aren’t they?
(Advancing on crew, who all run away)
They couldn’t say boo to a goose, let alone an albatross!
(To Ancient Mariner)
Speaking of which, isn’t that what you have hanging around your neck?