Description

Hanukkah Assembly

Hanukkah Assembly. Two miracles – and some very keen combatants! Our narrator certainly has his work cut out for him on this one!

Cast of 30. Duration: around 10 minutes reading time, not including songs, poetry, prayer or jokes.

Hanukkah Assembly Sample Text:

Narrator:             (Wiping his brow) Phew! Those Maccabees! Bit of a lively lot! Let’s look at how Hanukkah is celebrated before we return to them!

Child 10:              But we haven’t said what Hanukkah is yet!

(Narrator consults his notes)

Narrator:             Oh really? Well, fancy missing that bit out! Please proceed! Now let’s see. Maybe we should start with what Hanukkah means?

Child 11:              Hanukkah comes from the Hebrew word meaning ‘dedication’.

Narrator:             Ah, Hebrew you say?

Child 11:              That’s right. This is, after all, a Jewish festival.

Child 12:              That’s because it was the Jewish people who were persecuted all those years ago!

Child 13:              Over 2,000 years ago to be precise!

Child 14:              It was in the year 167 BC that a certain Syrian-Greek emperor

(Enter Antiochus Epiphanes)

Antiochus:           (Interrupting) That would be me, Antiochus Epiphanes!

Child 14:              (Continuing) Invaded Judea

(Enter Mattathias)

Mattathias:         (Furiously) And defiled my temple! Despicable what he and his forces did!

Antiochus:           (Defiantly) Well, you know what they say? Out with the old, in with the new!

(Mattathias strides over to Antiochus, shaking his fist; Narrator intercepts swiftly)

Narrator:             Now, now, gentlemen! What was I saying about no violence today?

Antiochus:           (Brushing himself down) Oh you needn’t worry about that! I mean, look at him! (pointing at Mattathias) Not exactly in his prime, right? And just a priest!

Mattathias:         Huh! You may laugh! But you were no match for my boys!

*(Music – optional burst of ‘The Boys are Back in Town – Thin Lizzy)

(Enter five sons of Mattathias, brandishing swords)

Jochanan:            Here we are!

Simeon:               What’s up, father?

Eleazer:                Need anyone ‘finishing off’?

Jonathan:            We can do that, no probs!

Judah:                  Never fear!

All five:                 (Together) The Maccabees are here!

Narrator:             Stop! Stop, this minute! You may be heroes of your time – but I want none of your heroics here today!

(Exit five sons, sulkily)

Narrator:             (To Antiochus) OK. So let’s hear from you first. What was it you did that got everyone so upset?

Antiochus:           (Stroking his chin, thoughtfully) Hmm. Now let me see. Could it have been

Mattathias:         (Interrupting) The looting of my temple! Shall we start with that?

Antiochus:           OK. Or the

Mattathias:         (Interrupting) Sacrificing pigs at my altar!

Antiochus:           Your altar? Oh I don’t think so. What did you not understand about that proclamation – All Judaism to be outlawed?

Narrator:             Ooh! Sounds a bit harsh!

Antiochus:           Harsh times, my man!

(Aside to Narrator) Course, between you and me I never thought setting up that altar to Zeus in the temple would go down too well!

Mattathias:         Blasphemy! My temple well and truly defiled!

(Mattathias collapses, sobbing in a heap on the floor)

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