Anyone for Cricket? This class play or assembly, cast of 30, is approximately 20 minutes long and should be performed if only for that wonderful track by 10 CC – Dreadlock Holiday! (Use of line – ‘I don’t like Cricket,… oh no… I love it!)
Apart from giving an outline of the game, and some of its past heroes, there is an exploration of cricket terminology – an A to Z of surely some of the wackiest jargon around!
For sports and non-sports folk alike – Enjoy
Narrator: Ah! Our final innings of the day!
Player 1: We’ll be sure to make this a fine pongo!
(All Players raise their bats in triumph)
Narrator: Pongo meaning a high score!
Player 1: Correct. Lots of runs!
Umpire 1: (Standing) But we’ll be keeping an eye on the quota.
Umpire 2: (Standing) That’s the total number of overs (maximum ten) given to a bowler
Umpire 1: Typically, the total overs in the innings
Umpire 2: Divided by five,
Umpire 1: And then rounded to the next highest whole number.
Narrator: (Clutching his head) Well, I’ll most certainly leave the maths to you!
(Both Umpires sit down, smiling)
Player 2: Rabbit!
Narrator: I beg your pardon!
Player 2: That’s what a rubbish batsman is called!
(All Players shake their heads, in disgust)
Narrator: Ooh. That’s not nice! I mean, no offence to bunnies but
Player 3: (Interrupting) Rain delay!
(All Players groan)
Player 3: Nothing more frustrating when you want to get on with the game!
Player 4: Red cherry.
Spectator 5: That’s the nickname for the red cricket ball!
Player 4: Correct!
Player 5: Rib tickler!
Spectator 1: Would that be a ball that hits the batsman in the midriff?
Player 5: Well done! You see how easy our jargon is?
Player 6: Sawn off!
(All Players gasp in anger and two Umpires stand up defiantly, with arms crossed)
Umpire 1: Our word is what goes!
Umpire 2: Nobody should argue with that!
Umpire 1: If we say a player is dismissed
Umpire 2: That’s an end to it!
Spectator 2: But what if you get it wrong?
(Umpires 1 and 2 gasp in horror)
Umpires 1 & 2: (Together) We never get it wrong!
(Players continue to glare at two Umpires as they sit down)
Narrator: (Coughing) Moving on!
Player 7: Sitter!
Spectator 3: Ooh. You never want to drop one of those! The shame of missing an easy catch!
Player 7: (Shaking head) Indeed.
Player 8: Skier! Another ball you really don’t want to miss! These are a miss hit, go up in the sky
Narrator: And I can only imagine the embarrassment of having all that time and then missing the catch!
(Players all clutch their heads)
Narrator: But it’s a game. Let’s not lose sight of that.
Player 8: Maybe. But a good fielder never loses sight of the ball!
Narrator: I see that. But
(Umpires 1 and 2 stand up)
Umpire 1: It is good to stay with the ‘spirit of cricket’.
Umpire 2: Which is why we are so opposed to what I think is the next subject to come up.
Player 9: Would that be sledging?
Umpires 1: Terrible practise!
Umpire 2: Simply and most definitely not cricket!
Narrator: So, what is this sledging? Sounds more like a winter sport to me!