Cricket Assembly

Description

Anyone for Cricket? This class play or assembly, cast of 30, is approximately 20 minutes long and should be performed if only for that wonderful track by 10 CC – Dreadlock Holiday! (Use of line – ‘I don’t like Cricket,… oh no… I love it!)

Apart from giving an outline of the game, and some of its past heroes, there is an exploration of cricket terminology – an A to Z of surely some of the wackiest jargon around!

For sports and non-sports folk alike – Enjoy

Sample Text

Narrator:         Ah! Our final innings of the day!

Player 1:          We’ll be sure to make this a fine pongo!

(All Players raise their bats in triumph)

Narrator:         Pongo meaning a high score!

Player 1:          Correct. Lots of runs!

Umpire 1:        (Standing) But we’ll be keeping an eye on the quota.

Umpire 2:        (Standing) That’s the total number of overs (maximum ten) given to a bowler

Umpire 1:        Typically, the total overs in the innings

Umpire 2:        Divided by five,

Umpire 1:        And then rounded to the next highest whole number.

Narrator:         (Clutching his head) Well, I’ll most certainly leave the maths to you!

(Both Umpires sit down, smiling)

Player 2:          Rabbit!

Narrator:         I beg your pardon!

Player 2:          That’s what a rubbish batsman is called!

(All Players shake their heads, in disgust)

Narrator:         Ooh. That’s not nice! I mean, no offence to bunnies but

Player 3:          (Interrupting) Rain delay!

(All Players groan)

Player 3:          Nothing more frustrating when you want to get on with the game!

Player 4:          Red cherry.

Spectator 5:     That’s the nickname for the red cricket ball!

Player 4:          Correct!

Player 5:          Rib tickler!

Spectator 1:     Would that be a ball that hits the batsman in the midriff?

Player 5:          Well done! You see how easy our jargon is?

Player 6:          Sawn off!

(All Players gasp in anger and two Umpires stand up defiantly, with arms crossed)

Umpire 1:        Our word is what goes!

Umpire 2:        Nobody should argue with that!

Umpire 1:        If we say a player is dismissed

Umpire 2:        That’s an end to it!

Spectator 2:     But what if you get it wrong?

(Umpires 1 and 2 gasp in horror)

Umpires 1 & 2:            (Together) We never get it wrong!

(Players continue to glare at two Umpires as they sit down)

Narrator:         (Coughing) Moving on!

Player 7:          Sitter!

Spectator 3:     Ooh. You never want to drop one of those! The shame of missing an easy catch!

Player 7:          (Shaking head) Indeed.

Player 8:          Skier! Another ball you really don’t want to miss! These are a miss hit, go up in the sky

Narrator:         And I can only imagine the embarrassment of having all that time and then missing the catch!

(Players all clutch their heads)

Narrator:         But it’s a game. Let’s not lose sight of that.

Player 8:          Maybe. But a good fielder never loses sight of the ball!

Narrator:         I see that. But

(Umpires 1 and 2 stand up)

Umpire 1:        It is good to stay with the ‘spirit of cricket’.

Umpire 2:        Which is why we are so opposed to what I think is the next subject to come up.

Player 9:          Would that be sledging?

Umpires 1:      Terrible practise!

Umpire 2:        Simply and most definitely not cricket!

Narrator:         So, what is this sledging? Sounds more like a winter sport to me!