I’m afraid, not exactly a laugh a minute but I do intend to set this right, by a follow-up ‘take off’ of this dire gloomy story. But for now, this is my first offering, sticking pretty much to the original story, with just a few adjustments in order to keep it to a ‘doable’ length.
So, enjoy – if you can!
Cast of 10. Duration: around 45 minutes
(Dracula clutches his heart again)
Dracula: Oh, don’t make me say it again! I always have a bad reaction to anything …
Narrator: Aha! Good! I get where you’re coming from! Because you were, after all, the epitome of bad!
Dracula: That’s right! A world of darkness and depravity – that’s where I belong!
Narrator: (Looking around, shivering) And maybe where you should have stayed!
Dracula: Where? In Transylvania? But then you wouldn’t have had your story, would you?
Narrator: You’re right! So, let’s get on with that – though we will stick to a considerably shortened version today as
Dracula: (Interrupting) Let me guess! You don’t want to be here beyond daylight hours?
Narrator: Hmm. Something like that.
Dracula: How very ironic! That you should be afraid of the dark! You who created the master of darkness! Pah! Call yourself a man? No wonder those other characters were such wimps! Strikes me I had very little competition in the evil stakes, if you’ll pardon the expression.
Narrator: (Whips out a stake from under his cloak) Speaking of which!
(Narrator proceeds to pull out a crucifix and garland of garlic from under his cloak – holding them out in front of him, Dracula recoiling, hissing in disgust)
Dracula: Bah! I had wondered about the cloak. Now I see why you chose to wear it! What a coward! To resort to such devices, so early on!
Narrator: Self-preservation, is the term I think I’d use. I may have created you but I don’t want to end up like you – or worse!
Dracula: Oh, believe me, nothing could be worse than that existence you thrust upon me. Eternal life! Definitely not all it’s cracked up to be!