Pirates Smugglers and Shipwrecks


Pirates Smugglers and Shipwrecks


Pirates Smugglers and Shipwrecks

This is a special Buy 2 Get 2 free package!

It consists of 3 scripts, with 6 speakers each:

Pirates Ahoy! script
Smugglers Alert! script
Shipwrecks! script

Pirates Quiz

All for 12.99!

Pirates Smugglers and Shipwrecks Sample texts of all 3 plays:

Sample Text 1:

Pirates Ahoy!

6 speakers – Interviewer, Long John Silver, Blackbeard, Black Bart, Captain Henry Morgan, and Mary Read. Climb aboard with this motley crew – if you dare!

This ‘interview’ draws out the main historical facts available on these characters. Additional background information is supplied at the end of the play – the sum total of this information available in quiz form shortly (from Quiz section)

Pirates Smugglers and Shipwrecks Sample Text:

Pirates Ahoy!

Speakers:            Interviewer

Long John Silver

Blackbeard (Edward Teach)

Mary Read

Captain Henry Morgan

Black Bart (Captain Bartholomew ‘Black Bart’ Roberts)


Interviewer:                       A very good morning to you, Gentlemen (To Mary) Begging your pardon, ma’am!

Mary Read:                         That’s quite all right! I’m more than happy to be treated the same as these gents!

Long John Silver:              A clear case of ‘Who’s a pretty boy then?’

Blackbeard:                        (Growling) Well, she’s certainly better looking than you!

Cpt. Morgan:                     (‘Groggily’) Yes, even I can see that

Black Bart:                           Which sure is saying something given the state you’re in!

Cpt. Morgan:                     Yo ho ho! And a bottle of rum!

Interviewer:                       Oh dear! Who left out that bottle of rum?

Long John Silver:              And he’s already had a whole barrel that he brought along with him!

Interviewer:                       Something tells me we’re not going to get a lot of sense out of Captain Morgan this morning!

Mary Read:                         Oh! Don’t you worry! You wouldn’t believe what us pirates are capable of – even after a large number of rums!

Interviewer:                       Hmm. So I’ve heard! But perhaps we’d better start with this Welshman

Black Bart:                           Who? Me?

Interviewer:                       No. I’ll come to you in a minute. I was going to have a few words with Captain Morgan here – whilst he’s still capable of speech!

Blackbeard:                        (Hissing) You’d better get in there quick, then! And I’d make it a simple question, if I were you!

Interviewer:                       OK. So, why are pirates, pirates?

Cpt. Morgan:                     Because they Arrrrrrrrrrr!

Interviewer:                       (Sighing) Hmm. Very good! Let’s try again. Everyone knows that the Captain Morgan line of rum is named after you, but I wonder if they know about your lucky escape aboard that warship ‘Oxford’?

Cpt. Morgan:                     How could I forget? That stray spark so nearly took me out with my 350 crewmen!

Interviewer:                       Talk about going out with a bang! Very careless of someone to ‘strike a light’ near that gunpowder!

Blackbeard:                        What a waste! Much better drunk as part of a rum cocktail!

Interviewer:                       What, gunpowder?

Blackbeard:                        Ah yes! The perfect rum cocktail ingredient! You wouldn’t catch me being that careless with my gunpowder!

Cpt. Morgan:                     Huh! Coming from Mr. Health and Safety, over here! What about those burning fuses you used to light in your hair?

Mary Read:                         Ugh! All that filthy black smoke! What filthy habits some of those men pirates had!

Black Bart:                           Well, it certainly scared the living daylights out of his enemies! He sure was a scary sight at battle time!

Cpt. Morgan:                     Arrrrrr! Shiver me timbers!

Long John Silver:              Hey! Quit stealing my lines! I’ll have none left!

Blackbeard:                        (Sarcastically) Oh I’m sure that nice Robert Louis Stephenson will find you some more!

Black Bart:                           Yeah! Who invited this ‘fake’ along? A mere fictional pirate!

Long John Silver:              (Spluttering, furiously) Well, of all the cheek …

Cpt. Morgan:                     Huh! Cat got your tongue?

Blackbeard:                        No, but it might have got his parrot!

Mary Read:                         Boys! Boys! Why so cruel?

Blackbeard:                        (Sarcastically) Uh, because we’re pirates!

Mary Read:                         That’s no excuse for bad manners! Allow me to apologize, Long John Silver, on their behalf.

Long John Silver:              Nah! Don’t worry about them! They’re just jealous!

Black Bart:                           (Exploding) Jealous? Of you? Oh, pull the other one!

Cpt. Morgan:                     (Laughing) But he’s only got the one! Leg, that is!

Blackbeard:                        (Sneering) Along with that peg leg! I’m surprised Mr. Stevenson didn’t give you a hook instead of an arm, too!

Cpt. Morgan:                     Nah! Would have cost him too much!

Blackbeard:                        You mean (pausing for effect) an arm and a leg?

Sample Text 2:


Smugglers Alert!

Duration: around 5 – 10 mins

Cast: 6 – Interviewer, Thomas Kingsmill, Tom Johnstone, Cruel Copinger, Jack Rattenbury and John Trenchard

Copinger:            And proud of it! A pity you weren’t a little more loyal to your country!

Johnstone:         (Sighing) OK. So you’ve all heard how I helped the Frenchies a little ..

Rattenbury:        (Exploding) A little? So what part of ‘smuggling gold from England to France, to pay Napoleon’s armies’ was little?

Kingsmill:             Indeed! Fancy me thinking I was the one who was going ‘to come in for all the flack’! At least I knew whose side I was on!

Interviewer:       Now, come along, gentlemen! Perhaps we are being a little heavy on Mr. Johnstone! Don’t you agree, Mr. Trenchard?

Trenchard:          Actually, I’m with them on this one! However much I might have disapproved of the violence I saw going on around me, nothing would have made me turn my old mates in!

Interviewer:       Well, of course not!

Copinger:            But that’s what this gentleman did!

Rattenbury:        Not only did he swap sides as in swapping what country he fought for but he also went from being the hunted to the hunter!

Interviewer:       You mean, he became a revenue man?

Kingsmill:             (Spitting) He did indeed! How much lower could he stoop?

Johnstone:         Well, I could have led a French invasion force! Turning the Emperor down cost me nine months in gaol!

Rattenbury:        So? Do you want to hear about some of my adventures? Escaping from gaol, from the navy, from the customs man (pauses) Oh, but that was you, I was forgetting!

Johnstone:         OK! OK! So I’m never going to win you round

Trenchard:          I don’t think so!

Johnstone:         (Sulkily, to Trenchard) All I wanted to do was retire peacefully, like you!

Trenchard:          Now don’t you go comparing my happy ending with yours! Mine was honorable!

Johnstone:         (Tutting) As if this lot know anything about honour! Tell that to their victims and their victims’ families! I wonder how much honour they saw!

Kingsmill:             Ah! Those 1740s! When men were men!

Trenchard:          Bullies and thugs, more like!

Kingsmill:             (Furiously) Why, you …

Interviewer:       Gentlemen! Gentlemen! I am not prepared to tolerate any violence in our ranks today! That time has gone! (Aside) Thank goodness! Now, we will proceed in an orderly manner. No more confrontation – let’s just hear it as it was!

Kingsmill:             Well, if you want some idea of how powerful my gang was, let’s mention the five hundred men we could muster in less than two hours!

Interviewer:       Sounds like an army!

Kingsmill:             We let nothing stand in our way!

Interviewer:       Not even the law?

Kingsmill:             (Snorting) Not even the law! I mean, who in their right minds was going to take us lot on?

Interviewer:       Er, the village of Goudhurst,I believe?

Sample Text 3

From Shipwrecks!

S.O.S.D. 1:           OK. So what about that Marie Celeste?

S.O.S.D. 2:           Indeed. What about that Marie Celeste? Nobody knows!

S.O.S.D. 3:           There may have been survivors – but there was no sign of them when the sailing ship was found drifting in the Atlantic Ocean, 1872.

S.O.S.D. 4:           Did they abandon ship? Were they attacked? Nobody will ever know what happened. It’s one of those Bermuda Triangle riddles that has no answer.

S.O.S.D. 5:           And then we come to the Titanic, 1912! One of the great maritime disasters of all time!


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