Come on England World Cup Football Assembly
Come on England World Cup Football Assembly. How tough can it be for the English coach – when he has eleven despondent players to deal with? Not so tough, thanks to the efforts of eleven lively cheerleaders and one understanding referee!
The usual lively music list:
1. Land of Hope and Glory 2. Pump it Up – Elvis Costello 3. Reach for the Stars – S Club 7 4. The Boys are back in town – Thin Lizzy 5. Let me entertain you – Robbie Williams 6. Simply the Best – Tina Turner 7. We are the Champions – Queen 8. The Climb and 9. Rockin All Over the World – Status Quo (with some rather interesting changes to the lyrics in the last four songs!)
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Come on England World Cup Football Assembly Sample text:
Player 9: To win!
(Everyone looks at Player 9, gasping)
Coach: Pardon? Did I just hear you right?
Cheerleaders: (Together) To win?
Player 10: That’s right! You don’t get many second chances in life
Player 11: And we’ve just been handed ours!
Music 4 The Boys are Back in Town – Thin Lizzy
(All players singing and playing ‘air guitars’)
Cheerleader 4: Wow! I like your moves!
Cheerleader 5: That was amazing!
Cheerleader 6: Who would have thought it!
Cheerleader 7: Looks like we’ve got competition, girls!
Cheerleader 8: Things are looking good!
Coach: Well, they’re certainly looking better. But let’s not get carried away. It’s one thing to provide a little entertainment off the pitch – but what about on the pitch?
(Players and Cheerleader exchange meaningful glances and then launch into a joint performance)
Music 5 – Let me Entertain You – Robbie Williams
Coach: Cut! Cut! Stop! Stop!
Cheerleader 9: But what’s wrong?
Cheerleader 10: Isn’t this what you wanted?
Cheerleader 11: Just look at your team now!
Coach: Exactly! I’m doing just that! But wait! Am I looking at a World Cup football team – or a bunch of rock stars?
Player 1: (Puffing out chest) Well, thank you, coach! I could get used to being seen – as a rock star!
Coach: (Exploding) Well, don’t! (Spluttering) Just look at you! You’re about to walk out onto a football pitch – not a rock stage!
Player 2: (Sighing) Is that a No to me being the next Jimi Hendrix then?
Coach: I’ll say! Get a grip! The lot of you!
(All hang their heads, sulkily)
Referee: (Looking at despondent players) Oh no! Not again! I was just coming back to give you the 15 minute warning! Something tells me you’re going to need a lot longer than that! What is going on here?
Coach: Just a
Referee: (Interrupting) Little misunderstanding, again? I guess I’d better leave you to it – again! Good luck! You’ve got (looks at watch) 14 minutes and counting to turn this lot around!
Coach: OK. Listen up! You are stars! All of you! What do you think you are doing here? Why do you think you were chosen to play for England? I tell you what you are going to do today. You are going to walk out onto that pitch and make your country proud of you!
Players: We are?
Cheerleaders: You are!
Music 6 Simply the Best – Tina Turner (alternative version of chorus –– see Production Notes)
(As cheerleaders sing first verse, Player 3 frantically scribbles down lyrics to chorus – hurriedly sharing them with his team mates before they then come in with the chorus – pushing cheerleaders to one side)
Coach: (Incredulously) Nice? Just nice – to bring the World Cup home? Who wrote these lyrics?
(Players all point at Player 3 who hangs his head sheepishly)
Player 3: Well, I did write them in a bit of a hurry!
Coach: I apologize. You did just great! Now let’s get down to business! We’re now minutes off you walking onto that pitch and I want to know you’re going to do yourselves proud!
Player 4: No question about that, coach.
Player 5: You now have a team of champions!
Music 7 We are the Champions – Queen (alternative version – see Production Notes)
(Cheerleaders walk back onto centre stage – from sidelines where they have been standing since being ‘replaced’ during chorus of Simply the Best)
Cheerleader 1: Strikes me these boys are getting a little big headed!
Cheerleader 2: Maybe a little too big for their boots!
Cheerleader 3: Maybe time for a reality check, girls?
Music 8 The Climb – Miley Cyrus (alternative version – see Production Notes – Cheerleaders singing up to last three lines, when players join them, in unison)
Coach: Wow, guys, I guess you’re ready!