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Come on England World Cup Football Assembly

Come on England World Cup Football Assembly. How tough can it be for the English coach – when he has eleven despondent players to deal with? Not so tough, thanks to the efforts of eleven lively cheerleaders and one understanding referee!

The usual lively music list:

1. Land of Hope and Glory 2. Pump it Up – Elvis Costello 3. Reach for the Stars – S Club 7 4. The Boys are back in town – Thin Lizzy 5. Let me entertain you – Robbie Williams 6. Simply the Best – Tina Turner 7. We are the Champions – Queen 8. The Climb and 9. Rockin All Over the World – Status Quo (with some rather interesting changes to the lyrics in the last four songs!)

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Come on England World Cup Football Assembly Sample text:

Player 9:               To win!

(Everyone looks at Player 9, gasping)

Coach:                  Pardon? Did I just hear you right?

Cheerleaders:   (Together) To win?

Player 10:            That’s right! You don’t get many second chances in life

Player 11:            And we’ve just been handed ours!

Music 4 The Boys are Back in Town – Thin Lizzy

(All players singing and playing ‘air guitars’)

Cheerleader 4:  Wow! I like your moves!

Cheerleader 5:  That was amazing!

Cheerleader 6:  Who would have thought it!

Cheerleader 7:  Looks like we’ve got competition, girls!

Cheerleader 8:  Things are looking good!

Coach:                  Well, they’re certainly looking better. But let’s not get carried away. It’s one thing to provide a little entertainment off the pitch – but what about on the pitch?

(Players and Cheerleader exchange meaningful glances and then launch into a joint performance)

Music 5 – Let me Entertain You – Robbie Williams

Coach:                  Cut! Cut! Stop! Stop!

Cheerleader 9:  But what’s wrong?

Cheerleader 10:                Isn’t this what you wanted?

Cheerleader 11:                Just look at your team now!

Coach:                  Exactly! I’m doing just that! But wait! Am I looking at a World Cup football team – or a bunch of rock stars?

Player 1:               (Puffing out chest) Well, thank you, coach! I could get used to being seen – as a rock star!

Coach:                  (Exploding) Well, don’t! (Spluttering) Just look at you! You’re about to walk out onto a football pitch – not a rock stage!

Player 2:               (Sighing) Is that a No to me being the next Jimi Hendrix then?

Coach:                  I’ll say! Get a grip! The lot of you!

(All hang their heads, sulkily)

(Enter referee)

Referee:              (Looking at despondent players) Oh no! Not again! I was just coming back to give you the 15 minute warning! Something tells me you’re going to need a lot longer than that! What is going on here?

Coach:                  Just a

Referee:              (Interrupting) Little misunderstanding, again? I guess I’d better leave you to it – again! Good luck! You’ve got (looks at watch) 14 minutes and counting to turn this lot around!

(Exit referee)

Coach:                  OK. Listen up! You are stars! All of you! What do you think you are doing here? Why do you think you were chosen to play for England? I tell you what you are going to do today. You are going to walk out onto that pitch and make your country proud of you!

Players:                We are?

Cheerleaders:   You are!

Music 6 Simply the Best – Tina Turner  (alternative version of chorus –– see Production Notes)

(As cheerleaders sing first verse, Player 3 frantically scribbles down lyrics to chorus – hurriedly sharing them with his team mates before they then come in with the chorus – pushing cheerleaders to one side)

Coach:                  (Incredulously) Nice?  Just nice – to bring the World Cup home? Who wrote these lyrics?

(Players all point at Player 3 who hangs his head sheepishly)

Player 3:               Well, I did write them in a bit of a hurry!

Coach:                  I apologize. You did just great! Now let’s get down to business! We’re now minutes off you walking onto that pitch and I want to know you’re going to do yourselves proud!

Player 4:               No question about that, coach.

Player 5:               You now have a team of champions!

Music 7 We are the Champions – Queen (alternative version – see Production Notes)

(Cheerleaders walk back onto centre stage – from sidelines where they have been standing since being ‘replaced’ during chorus of Simply the Best)

Cheerleader 1:  Strikes me these boys are getting a little big headed!

Cheerleader 2:  Maybe a little too big for their boots!

Cheerleader 3: Maybe time for a reality check, girls?

(All nod)

Music 8 The Climb – Miley Cyrus (alternative version – see Production Notes – Cheerleaders singing up to last three lines, when players join them, in unison)

Coach:                  Wow, guys, I guess you’re ready!