Assembly on England in celebration of St. George’s Day


Assembly on England in celebration of St. George’s Day


Assembly on England – in celebration of St. George’s Day

Assembly on England – in celebration of St. George’s Day. What on earth could the queen of England, our narrator alias Beefeater/guard of the Tower of London and the Artful Dodger have in common? Read on to find out what ‘Twist’ turns the Artful Dodger into Sir Artful Dodger!

Cast size: 25 but easily adjusted up or down (as explained in Production Notes)

Duration: Around 20 minutes (depending on how much music is used)

The focus of this play is London. Time constraints (i.e. length of performance) meant I just touched on England’s history – events and people. I have addressed this ‘shortfall’ in the collection of guided reading script that will shortly be added, as a complementary resource to this assembly. I will also be writing additional assemblies/class plays on England and its heritage.

Assembly on England – in celebration of St. George’s Day Sample Text

(Enter Sir Winston Churchill, smoking a pipe)

Narrator:             Ah, Sir Winston Churchill! Thank goodness. You pulled us through that Second World War – can you help me deal with this group of .. of …  super-women?

Sir Winston Churchill:     What? This lot? Leave it to me!

Music 5 Who Do you Think You Are – Spice Girls

(Spice Girls sing and make threatening gestures toward Sir Winston Churchill, who cowers and runs off stage)

Narrator:             (Aside) Hmm. Time for a different kind of ‘Help!” (Turning to Spice Girls) Hey girls, here come the Beatles!

Spice Girls:          (Together) Beetles? Did someone say, beetles?

(All Spice Girls scream and run off stage)

Music 6 Help – Beatles

(Beatles stride on, singing Help!)

Narrator:             OK! That’s probably as much help as I need! Thank you, boys!

Beatles:                (Together) No probs!

(Exit Beatles)

Narrator:             So. Enough of this frivolity! Back to the serious stuff! Take my job at the Tower, for example

(Queen Elizabeth runs back onto stage, in state of total panic)

Narrator:             Your Majesty! Whatever is the matter? Don’t tell me you spilt your tea?

Queen Eliz:         (Gasping) Haven’t you heard?

Music 7 London Bridge is Falling Down

(Cast sings first verse)

Narrator:             But that was around one thousand years ago, Your Majesty! It has been rebuilt several times since then!

Queen Eliz:         No! No! It’s not that I’m worried about!

Narrator:             Oh no! Don’t tell me the Thames Barrier has failed?

Queen Eliz:         What? The world’s largest movable flood barrier? Of course not!

Narrator:             So. Has Buckingham Palace been burgled?

Music 8  They’re Changing Guards At Buckingham Palace

(Cast sings first verse, as two guards in uniform march up and down)

Queen Eliz:         What? With my fine guards to keep us safe? I don’t think so!

Narrator:             (Gasping) Don’t tell me St. Paul’s Cathedral has burnt to the ground again?

Queen Eliz:         (Sighing in exasperation) No. Our fire service has improved a little since that Great Fire of London!

Music 9 Time Pink Floyd (Chimes at beginning of track)

Narrator:             (Gasping) Don’t tell me Big Ben has got the time wrong?

Queen Eliz:         No!

Narrator:             (Gasping) Don’t tell me the Houses of Parliament have got blown up?

Queen Eliz:         No! It’s nowhere near November 5th!

Music 10 Money Pink Floyd (Just opening excerpt)

Narrator:             (Gasping) Don’t tell me the Bank of England has run out of money?

Queen Eliz:         No!

Narrator:             (Gasping) ….that the Royal Opera House has run out of singers?

Queen Eliz:         No!

Narrator:             (Gasping) ….that the London Eye has stopped turning?

Queen Eliz:         No!

Narrator:             (Gasping) ….that Madame Tussauds has come to life?

Queen Eliz:         No!

Narrator:             (Gasping) ….that Doctor Who has lost his TARDIS?

Queen Eliz:         No!

Narrator:             (Gasping) ….that Jamie Oliver has burnt … a school dinner?

Queen Eliz:         No!

Narrator:             (Throwing hands up in frustration) So, what does that leave us with? Got it! Nelson has fallen off his column?

Queen Eliz:         Of course not! Though Trafalgar Square certainly wouldn’t miss a few flattened pigeons!

Narrator:             (With irritation) I give up, then!

Queen Eliz:         Oh, don’t do that. Not when you’re getting warmer! Back to those pigeons …

Narrator:             Pigeons?

Queen Eliz:         Yes. Think large black crows ….

Narrator:             You’re not serious!  (Gasping and then gasping again) Please don’t say it’s my Ravens?

Queen Eliz:         I’m afraid so! They’ve disappeared! Now do see why I’m so upset?

Narrator:             Well, of course, Your Majesty. If the Ravens leave, then the Tower falls down

Queen Eliz:         And so does the monarchy!

(Narrator and Queen Elizabeth both sit, holding their heads)

Narrator & Queen Eliz:   (Together) We’re doomed! Doomed!

(Enter Artful Dodger)

Artful Dodger:   Hey! What’s going on here? I don’t remember picking your pockets!

Narrator:             Oh, it’s far worse than that!

Artful Dodger:   What? Has Eastenders ended?

Narrator:             (In irritation) No!

Artful Dodger:   Has Wimbledon been cancelled?

Queen Eliz:         No!

Artful Dodger:   (Gasping suddenly) Oh no! Don’t tell me we’re getting a summer this year?

Narrator & Queen Eliz:   (Together, in bewilderment) What?

Artful Dodger:   No rain, no coats, no pockets! What am I supposed to pick?



  • 1. There’ll Always Be an England – sung by Dame Vera Lynn
  • 2. God Save the Queen – National Anthem
  • 3. Land of Hope and Glory
  • 4. Wannabe – Spice Girls
  • 5. Who do you think you are? – Spice Girls
  • 6. Help! – Beatles
  • 7. London Bridge is Falling Down
  • 8. They’re Changing Guards at Buckingham Palace
  • 9. Time – Pink Floyd (Dark Side of the Moon)
  • 10. Money – Pink Floyd (Dark Side of the Moon)
  • 11. Feed the Birds – from Mary Poppins
  • 12. Jerusalem




For performance rights, please select from options below. Please note that these are in addition to the price of the play (11.99). For extra certificates (additional performances) and any queries re: performance rights please email me on



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