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French Assembly – Vive La France!

French Assembly – Vive La France! Great moments in history? Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo (bring on Abba!) And not so great moments – Tour de France cyclist…. minus bike! Then there are those slightly eccentric artists – did Degas really have ballet lessons? And as for putting the Bayeux Tapestry in the the wash ….?! Some of the highlights (and low lights!) of this romp through what constitutes France!

French Assembly is class a play on France and is one of a set Sue Russell has written on different countries (Great Britain, England, Scotland, Wales, Holland, Australia, France, Spain, Malta, India, Africa)

French Assembly – Vive La France! Sample Texts
(Exit 6 artists)

Narrator:             Au revoir! So, let’s find out about…

(Enter Cyclist – child wearing helmet – limping)

Narrator:             Oh dear! What happened to you?

Cyclist:                  The Tour de France! That’s what happened to me! Never again!

Narrator:             I’m guessing you weren’t among the winners?

Cyclist:                  Does it look like I’m celebrating? 2,500 miles over 3 weeks? What was I thinking?

Narrator:             Looks like you could do with a nice hot bath! Never mind, there’s always next year!

(Exit cyclist)

Narrator:             So, perhaps time for a little French history?

(Enter 3 children carrying length of ‘mangled material’)

And what is this?

Child 6:                 The Bayeux Tapestry! It should show all the events leading up to and including the Norman Conquest of England

Narrator:             But

Child 7:                 Well, unfortunately we dropped a stitch or two on the way over here!

Narrator:             Just a stitch or two?

Child 8:                 Hmm. OK, three or four! (Glaring at Child 7) Course, if some bright spark hadn’t suggested it needed a wash ….

Child 7:                 Well, how was I to know it wasn’t machine washable?

(All 3 exit)

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(Enter Napoleon Bonaparte)

Napoleon:           Hey! Wait a minute! Don’t go forgetting my magnificent part in history!

Narrator:             The great Napoleon himself!

Napoleon:           I’ll say! Some say the greatest general of all time!

Narrator:             Oh yeah?

Music 2 Waterloo – Abba

(4 children dressed as Abba perform this song; whole cast singing along – first verse and chorus)

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(‘Waiter’ walks on, with large plate and selection of food)

Narrator:             And what do we have here? Quiche, soufflés, pate, croissants, crepes, … French Fries? Oh I think we’ll lose them! But I’ll have a little cheese with this French bread – now let me see – Brie, Roquefort or Camembert?

(Second ‘waiter’ walks on with bottle of wine and a glass on a tray)

Narrator:             And some wine? Don’t mind if I do!

(Looks at label on bottle)

All the way from the vineyards of Bordeaux!

(Narrator starts to ‘tuck in’, and then abruptly remembers the audience)

Narrator:             Oh, I’m so sorry! I nearly forgot myself!

(Turning to first waiter)

Maybe something a little lighter, please!

(Waiter goes off, and then returns with snails and frogs  … plus sheep’s head)

Narrator:             (Jumping back in alarm) What’s this? Snails? Frogs’ legs? Sheep brains?

(Dismisses waiter with a wave of his hand)

I think I’ll pass, thank you!

For performance rights, please select from options below. Please note that these are in addition to the price of the play (11.99). For extra certificates (additional performances) and any queries re: performance rights please email me on

sue@oldsite.plays-r-ussell.com