Welsh Assembly in celebration of St. David’s Day An Assembly for March 1st – St. David’s Day – on Wales, and who do we have waiting in the wings?
- Shirley Bassey – a class act
- Tom Jones (shame about the shirt)
- Badfinger – vying for position with Goldfinger
- The Welsh Rugby Team
- plus 007, Laura Ashley models, Sound of Music nuns
And if we’re talking unlikely inclusions … Ying Tong Song?!
Yet again our hapless Narrator manages, against all the odds, to hold it together – those Tommy Cooper jokes certainly help! Oh, and then there’s St. David, too, of course …!
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Welsh Assembly in celebration of St. David’s Day Sample Text:
Child 19: ‘Old proverbs are the children of truth’.
Narrator: And those children occasionally need a little discipline
(Pulls out a rod and flexes it) ‘Better the rod that bends than the one that breaks.’
(Children all recoil, gasping in horror)
Narrator: Now! Let’s proceed! (Holding up book Under Milk Wood) Some more great Welsh culture, please!
Music 2 The Ying Tong Song – Goons
(Whole cast participating, Narrator looking on in bewilderment and despair)
Narrator: Cut! What is going on? What has this to do with Welsh culture?
Child 20: Have you never listened to The Goon Show? With our great Sir Harry Secombe as Neddie Seagoon?
Narrator: And that’s culture?
Child 20: As good as it gets!
Narrator: Next! Something or somebody a bit ‘classy‘ I hope
Music 3 Goldfinger – Shirley Bassey
(Shirley Bassey ‘lookalike’ performs part of this song)
Narrator: Wow! You can’t get much classier than Dame (bowing) Shirley Bassey! Thank you for bringing your very special touch of glamour to this show! Now, how can we follow that?
Music 4 No Matter What You Are – Badfinger
(Band of four – ‘Badfinger’ – perform on stage)
Narrator: And you are?
Band: (Together) Badfinger!
Narrator: Hmm. I’m thinking, Goldfinger had a little more class! (Snorting) Music from the 60’s! What is this assembly coming to?
Music 5 It’s Not Unusual – Tom Jones
(Tom Jones ‘lookalike’ performs part of song; Narrator joins in ‘exaggerated hip movements at the side)
Narrator: Sir (bows) Tom Jones, no less! My! Am I keeping smart company today! (Aside) Shame about the frilly shirt! Next!
Music 6 Fashion – David Bowie
(Procession of ‘models’ wearing Laura Ashley-type clothes, strut along ‘pretend catwalk’)
Narrator: What was I saying about frilly fashion?
Child 21: Laura Ashley, that great Welsh designer
Narrator: No offence, intended! These girls look just beautiful! What a fashion icon!
Music 7 Climb every Mountain – from Sound of Music
(Two nuns singing four appropriate lines from song)
Narrator: Now you really are losing me! The Sound of Music? Wasn’t that Austria?
Child 22: Well, yes. But there are lots of mountains in Wales.
Child 23: And it is our favourite movie!
Child 24: And it was after a Welshman, Sir George Everest, that the world’s highest peak was named.
Narrator: What a mountaineer he must have been!
Child 24: Hardly! He was just a surveyor! It is unlikely he ever actually saw Mount Everest – let alone scaled its heady heights!
Child 25: Unlike that great RAF pilot – Roald Dahl. Perhaps better known for his great books! Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, the Fantastic Mr. Fox, Matilda, the Witches, BFG!
Child 26: Big Friendly Giant! Maybe he was thinking of Tommy Cooper! What a great comedian he was!
Narrator: I was wondering when we were going to get back to the jokes!
Child 26: So. A man walks into the doctor’s and says “I’ve hurt my arm in several places.” The doctor replies “Well, don’t go there any more”!
Narrator: Very good. Now, getting back to our assembly …
Welsh Assembly in celebration of St. David’s Day MUSIC
- 1. Welsh National Anthem
- 2. Ying Tong Song – The Goons
- 3. Goldfinger – Shirley Bassey
- 4. No Matter What You Want – Badfinger
- 5. It’s Not Unusual – Tom Jones
- 6. Fashion – David Bowie
- 7. Climb Every Mountain – Sound of Music
- 8. License to Kill – Gladys Knight – Theme music to Bond movie
- 9. Diamonds are Forever – Shirley Bassey – Theme music to Bond movie
- 10. World In Unison – Theme song for Rugby World Cup
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